Tuesday, August 7, 2007

It is amazing to see how no one has yet written a basic How-To-Survive Guide Book living in karachi, considering it is one of the biggest metropolitan of the world with thousands of immigrants invading it, although only the fittest in Karachi live to tell the tale while the rest melt away in the hot blaze of Saddar sun. well this alarming situation must be put to and end. looking at the increasing rate of new visitors,i believe they deserve to know how to navigate their way not only through the messy traffic in Karachi, but also its chaotic lifestyle.
the basic do's and don'ts of surviving in Karachi.

1. kindly don't be shocked at an attempt of being mugged. it will, at some point in time happen to you or your loved one.

2. considering the above mentioned point, please do not expect the police to arrive at the crime scene on time, As they are usually part of the crime being committed it is only to be expected that they will not bite the hand that feeds their stomach.

3. Once on the road, expect to be rammed from the side and often head on from an oncoming vehicle in narrow lanes and crowded streets of Karachi. There is absolutely no need to boil your blood over right of way or traffic rules. The one with the bigger car wins. Plain and simple! And if that car has government number plates or a few hideous looking turbaned men looking all armed and dangerous, know that it is always your fault. Please, don't get into the right and wrong of the matter. There are none

4. If there is electricity flowing in your house or office for more than a couple of hours at a stretch, you should be thanking God. This is not a small blessing to be taken in your stride. A good night's rest without power breakdown, cranky children and a snarling spouse may be more than you should be aspiring to. Don't dream big. You will only end up being disappointed.

5. Of course, there is the ultimate luxury machine, the generator, which will keep your home chilled and nerves cool even if it is 50 degrees outside. The heat it exudes on the outside may make your driver’s or cook’s life a few notches more unbearable, but after all it's a small price to pay for your own comfort.

6. If you have the money to buy tankers at Rs1,500 a pop then you also have to have the heart to see that money literally go down the drain every few days while you dutifully pay your water and sewerage taxes on time. Not to mention your utter dependency on the obnoxious tanker wallas, a breed apart from the rest. At every door bell you run to the window hoping against hope that he has arrived with the blessed water although he promised he was on the way seven hours ago. And dare you say anything! He has too many more desperate clients in the neighbourhood to attend to than to hear your grumbling.

7. schooling is the fundamental right of every citizen. The horror begins when your child gets admission into the Montessori of your choice. The registration fee for the same runs into tens of thousands of rupees not to mention the monthly fee that is sometimes greater than school fees and mind you all of it in cash! But what option do you have if you are hell bent on making education a priority for your children? So beg, borrow, steal but find a way to make that crucial investment in your child's future ... so what if that activity ends up being a bottomless pit!

8. Lastly, don't just show up at any one’s house unannounced. it is considered rude to walk into your close relative or Friend's house without a notice in advance. people in Karachi are a bit too busy making ends meet and being harassed, therefore having no time left for casual meetings.

its a great place to be but don't forget over here, u just sit and watch and try to cope up with the rest, you are not allowed to speak. oh yes and welcome to Karachi!


khushalkhan said...

Lolz... City of Lights with no lights;)

BTW i am gonna forward this message to Qurratulain( a proud Karachiite )... and a blogger who thinks Karachi Rocks;)

I am Khushal from funbie.com/blog btw!

Anonymous said...

Damn i am horrified after reading all this though it isn't new for me but still after reading all this my plan of coming to karachi this year is history now:P

Sidhusaaheb said...

haar-haar-haar-de-haar... :D

You write well!

Meanwhile, replace the muggings with armed robberies and the city you are writing about could be New Delhi.